Our last summer

Sometimes i wish it was summer already, not because i want away from California but because i would get back home with tons of new stories and my friends and me would make forever lasting memories.

I wanna run to my mom and hug her, actually i wanna hug everyone in my family. Play with my nephew and wonder over my nieces..

But most of all knowing i wont come back the summer after that i just want to live for the fullest for awhile~
Finnish summer!

Me and my friends doing childish things again
Our last summer together!
I miss it before it has even started..

Wandering & wondering

Sometimes i wonder what if my grandmother from my mothers side who always was told she looked like a gypsy had ancestors that truly where wanderers and those genes passed a long to me.

Or maybe my grandmother from my fathers time who moved away to sweden only to find herself working in denmark and marrying one of those local boys but still ended up running back home; gave me this adventurous mind.

Because where ever it came from it wont let me be. I’m stuck dreaming of everywhere im not the moment things calm down only at the eve of exploring a new sight can my mind calm down and concentrait on the present.

What a peaceful moment it will be when I’m finally content, but i do dare to hope it’s not anyday soon because i still got so much to explore.

What’s private and what should be public?

Someone might have noticed my blog was private for awhile, you might say i was having a internet identity crisis.
I realized that what i thought some years ago was okay to publish on internet was now embarrassing me.

Motivation

Sometimes i just need to motivate myself
I might find myself in a situation, where nobody believes me,
the worst thing is for me to loose hope too.

SO instead of wallowing in it, or writing excessively about it,
i choose to do the opposite, i write down the encouragement i want to hear.

Like this picture on this post, i made to become my desktop wallpaper.
Believe me when ii say this works,
because sooner or later you realize that if you can write it down visibly;
then you can also believe in yourself.

I loose my faith every week sometimes everyday, but the important job is to try and get it back.
Never forfeiting.

So this picture, text and edit was made by me for myself.
I’ll let you sneak peak in to it
<3

Weird dream

Last night  i dreamt about Angel (from the tv series Buffy the vampire slayer and Angel), It was the weirdest  dream because it seemed like i knew the dream was a deja vu from another dream. I wonder if it was a episode that i had seen, but then again the places where local from my neighbourhood

It started from a crossroad, when  a shining  white and baby blue dressed woman with the palest hue i had ever seen was clearly hunting me and my friend.

When Angel came and rescued us, i knew this situation had happened before, he drove us back to my home and somehow i made him promise to sleep in my room because me and my friend where scared and i knew the lady would come back to hunt us.

He went to pick up some things from his home next door (idk when he had moved in there o.o).. We waited patiently for him to come, but the mintes passed and i went to find him. When i arrived at his apartment there where 3 other guys. one sleeping in a chair and 2 sleeping on the bed and angel sleeping on one of them. Furious as i was for him breaking the promise i threw a blanket at him and i saw the blond guy under angel wake up.

Angel also woe up and asked for forgiveness and just said “you know how it is when boys live together, i was just so tired.” We went back to my room and when i sat down on the bed i could hear the white dressed woman hymn and on the otheride of th window a light was closing in. I could feel my heartbeat and i looked at Angel who in a instant realized she was coming back  to get me and my friend.

Still then i knew this all was a deja vu and i knew something should still happen but instead i woke up to my family members downstairs doing something.

I wish i could remember had I  dreamt this before, because my mind keeps saying yes u have, but i cat put a timeframe on it..

insecure

Dress dreams and TOEFL english test.

It was fun but tiring in Tallinn. Went by public transport vehicles to Tallinn University of Technology, and I found it without difficulty. Anne was the only thing that stressed me, that woman just does not know how to calm down before reaching the destination. But I’m already accustomed to wander, have been found across wandering Sweden, Los Angeles and everywhere alone or with some friends company.

While traveling i saw Kristiina shopping center and I decided that after the test I had to go there to shop. ( i was trying to find a graduation dress) TOEFL exam went ok, I can’t say if Did well or not. I answered everything, but I’m not sure if correctly. About Questions and test content I shouldn’t speak, prior to the test I had to sign a nondisclosure agreement .. But I can say that I learned a lot on the listening comprehension. Now I just have wait for the results.

After the test we stopped on the way there to the shopping paradise, but the test had lasted four hours and I was pretty tired; so shopping was more tiring then i expected. Fortunately, at the tenth shop; I found a nice looking and cute dress and a jacket,. The skirt is pretty and summery, but easily forgettable.

On Monday if I have time we are gonna take some pictures at the studio with Jenny and Kata, with our hats and dresses. Hopefully they turn out good so i can put some in.

xoxo M

ps. I drew that little dress picture as a try to demonstrate the dress I bought.

Diary: Sun

I’m gonna make a quick diary note, just ramble about whats up? and whats happened.

First stealing  a picture from my lovely friends blog

It’s me last week while me and her were taking sun at our yard.

We were neighbours for a half a year or a bit more;
But I’m moving out with my roommate next month.
The house is getting destroyed and I’m anyway graduating next week.

The snow has melted and we have been having in southern Finland really warm and sunny days.
It’s such a huge change, you notice how the capital city has woken up.
The grey winter made everything look so ugly, so this sun is making everything look like diamonds and pearls.

I can’t stop admiring  Helsinki now,
the sun has such weird effects.

But I’m already trying for a school on the other side of the Atlantis,
Because this last winter taught me that I might not survive the next one.
Weather affects my mood a lot.


Finland became World Champions in Icehockey this year, it was awesome.
We won Sweden 6-1!!!!!!!!
So ofcourse me and my friends went to Lejonien Kultajuhlat (Lions Goldenparty)
A lot of finnish artist performed and the icehockey team came on stage.
I had my gold leaf white wine for a drink.
After that me and Kata went even out to a baar, fun night~

But yeah I didn’t have time to search for a summer job early enough and when i started i noticed most of them had been taken.
I’m on many peoples list as next choice now if someone gets sick.
Then again i have a lot of paperwork to do before fall if i get to the school i want to.

I hope everything goes good, i hope for a sunny summer and everything else awesome

xoxo
mstatic

Ever wondered why we grow old?

I’m not talking about the physical changes but the mental ones.
Because really we all miss our childish minds when we grow up?

But really most of us at some point when we were kids wanted to grow up and when we became teenagers it was a group thing.
Some might still have been unreluctant, but usually that’s already a adult thought…

But i don’t think we grow out of them and they don’t disappear either.
We just hide them inside us.
Whenever ur ready u can still find ‘ur inner child’ (i actually don’t like that saying, it’s over used)

 

 

I should stop thinking after too much coffee my thought’s end up weird…

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