The fear of failure

“Waiting hurts. Forgetting hurts. But not knowing which decision to take is the worst of suffering.” 
— Paulo Coelho

I think this is a 100% true and even if you manage to do something when you are really scared; you fail to put all your effort in it.
You should forget your fears and do your best.
Even if it’s school work or a job think about who you are in the end doing it for;
not your teacher or your boss but for you’re selves.
So do what you like, what inspires you and you will succeed.

It took me a long time to realize that i even was scared and i think it’s okay to be a little bit scared.
Because it’s also a part that drives you forward,
but when i got so scared of the people who would see my work that i couldn’t do it i realized i gotta set my priorities right.

We only have one life to please ourselves. Don’t count on that one chance, live thinking there will be many.

Night Drawing

Tried to draw a guy i met in LA, but it reminds me of junsu brother yunho haha~

Just reminding peeps that i know i suck at drawing, it really ain’t my thing but i just practice randomly sometimes to try colors etc.

Man i miss LA , the sun, the people, the city and the fact that it’s thousands of kilometers away from here..

[Diary]Stresssss

Me & my hamster

I need my hamster to calm my nerves, i got work on friday but the tickets are coming out :o

I’m going to work so i could aford my flight tickets, but they wil be a waste if i don’t get the concert tickets…

Ms Awesomness and Mr Weirdo

Going to my school to finnish on their computers some graphic design works but it’s truly made me a kid again.

I’m sitting next to my classmate and taking photos , drinking energydrinks and listening to music too loud…

It’s just that some places are really tied up with certain emotions and a acting patterns.

School will never be a place like work for me.

BUT then again, i really have to start working now : )

Selca: Comfy Nerding

Working on some extra projects.. but got some extra minutes that I’m spending listening on music and gathering facts..

I seem to dream away in my thoughts too often..

 

Now playing: Far East Movement – Rocketeer ft. Ryan Tedder

[Diary] The Future Never Felt So Right

It’s going all right, plans and work~!
Been working my ass of, just for a dream!!!
a week of happiness? a week of freedom?
I know I’m being to blue eyed about everything and people bring me down or rise me too up with their talk.
But i have work til’ December and a holiday planned.
It’s my time to shine, it’s my time to do what i want.

And i have people here helping me, i don’t know if everything will go as I’m imagining, but at least i dream

Dreams, money and work

I have been working diligently, becouse i want to save money. I hope to get to one of the JYJ the beginnng showcase. It’s very hard as i should be buying other stuff, but if i stop dreaming of this trip my will to work will also disappiere. dreams are to be made true.

It is my biggest wish at the moment to go there.
But i have to start thinking of other possibilites becouse winter is coming and it will start getting cold in Finland (it allready is). I have to buy new thicker clothes yet save money for the plain, hotell and show tickets..(If i even get the tickets…..)

It’s not easy to live this way, but it’s my way?

[Article] What to do when ur summer is running away?

Summer is usually thought as a relaxing time when you can lay back and do the things you where too busy to do on the winter. Sun and warmth is plea sable. The beach flows with people with more and less clothes.

We take a moment away and relax. But some of us still have to work on the summer, have to tend our childrens holidays or as Im gonna be curing from a necessary operation. 

This all makes me sad as summer is one of my favorite seasons, everything fun happens on the summer. It’s the season when everyone start to live again. The streets are full of life. But it can be a very stressful season too.

But what do we who don’t have time to grill, take sun and hang outwith friends do. The parents that only tend their childrens needs, the ones who gotta work 24/7 or me a sickling; Do we just sit and watch as the dark autumn comes back? 

Some of us don’t have a choise, we just have to make the best of the moments we get. Some things we will miss, but what wont we do fo a secure future, happt children and our helath. The things will resolve in the end. There is allways light in the tunnel. Your work will be bring you more, helath is the key to a happy life, your children will have a happy childhood and repay you as older..

Minor setback can be repayd with good stuff by time, never forget that

[Diary/Article]Bored of Everything // Time to be honest

Partying, school, hanging around, dishing and everyday life etc.
What do all these things have in common?
….The thing is that I’m bored of them all…

I don’t know why but I have been seriously down about allot of stuff…
I bet everyone’s jus thinking: get a grip off yourself…
I would just answer them, Ur misunderstanding me, it’s not like that!!
But that’s not completely true, it’s the point that they don’t understand at all.
It’s more like why should I bother, what’s the point?

Like going out to bars, I used o be really outgoing and do lots of crazy stuff…
But these days it just feels like repeating myself and I Hate repeating stuff…
So why bother?

Schools just the same every day, someday it’s just a mess and u just learn to be bored.
Subjects go on repeating themselves over and over, year after year…
I learn stuff I know I won’t need in the future and no adult knows it all anyway…
Why bother when most of it feels like a time waste!?!

The worst thing that I’m bored of I can newer say out loud; some many people could get hurt and offended of it.
It’s not that I mean harm but I’m just being honest.
I’m bored of my friends.
Everyday we sit in the cafe; we talk about the same things.
We think different; we fight the same way as always.
We suffer, we cry and we laugh.
After every chick fight we try to forget it, but it all still haunts me.
I’m bored of our nosy silence, our lack of disrespect toward each other, and our everyday life.

….But still mostly  in life I guess I’m bored of myself.

Swine flu victims, who’s the guilty one?

Swine flu, swine flu, swine flu.. Is everybody talking about it or  is it just written Everywhere.. Some are these days less concerned about it and some are even more scared.

The vaccines are finally here, but only a small amount is getting them. Some even refuse taking them, thinking their even more harmful then the influenza.

I was wondering that if i got swine flu from a outsider and my friends might catch it from me; then it would be my fault?
I’m the one spreading swine flu in among my friends, I’m the one that wasn’t cautious?

Some might think this is vain thinking and humans aren’t that shallow.
But I’m young girl, my friends are young. They have strong emotions, the scars go deeper in. Some can forget, some can forgive, but some will remember it forever.

So if i got it and survived but my friend died after getting it from me, it would be my fault. If i died, the others could forgive and mourn. But if i did survive i would be the one to blame. If i then again got it from one of them i would get sad and angry too for them spreading it to me.

I don’t know anyone well that has had swine flu, only one from my old work got it. But he only worked there ones a week and i ended work there before he ever came back. At that time i was worried what if he had infected me?
He was a nice man but i didn’t like him the days i worried..

…Yes i know everyone is not gonna get it, but you newer know whos gonna be the next victim…